On my mind....

Halloween was a lot of fun. Last year, Tate had swine flu so trick or treating was limited to just a few houses. This year we pretty much hit up the entire neighborhood. It was our 2nd Halloween in Richmond, and the 2nd Halloween without Papa Bud.

Papa Bud loved Halloween. He loved seeing the babies all dressed up. He would always make these huge ziplock bags full of the best candy to give to his babies.


Last year was hard. I was sort of glad to be in Richmond, not anywhere near Papa Bud's house. To go there on Halloween and not see him sitting in his chair would have been really hard to face.

I have been thinking so much about him lately. Karsen has helped ease a lot of my pain but there isn't a day that goes by that I do not think of Papa. I miss him and its been so long since I have held him. I miss his smell, his warmth. His laughter and smile. There is so much that I just wish I could go back and spend one more day with him. When someone you love so much leaves, you realize its the little things you miss the most.

Last year was so rough on my family. We basically stumbled through the holidays. I know this year will be different--still sad, still hard--but slowly we are getting used to this. It doesn't mean we like it, it just means we are adapting to his loss. I miss him so much.