A Year and 1/2

He's been dead now for a year and 1/2.

I miss him so much still. Our lives changed forever when his ended.

It's easy to look back on the many memories of him with a smile. So many photographs of him, always smiling. Cards, letters, little notes he wrote to us. We have them safely tucked away and when we miss him we pull them out and can smile easily at the thought of him.

I have his voice mails saved, many home movies (still haven't watched those yet---too hard I think it would be to see him like that) of happier times.

And dreams. I dream of him a lot. He is always in the background but I know he is there. I see him. I know in my dreams he is watching over us.

In the past year and 1/2 many things have changed. We have moved far from home, a new baby has come into our lives but what hasn't changed is my love for him.

Dear Papa,
How has it been a year and a half since I last held your hand? Tears still fall easily at the thought of you and how much I miss you. But when I think of the suffering you were under, it's easier to think of you being safe in heaven without any pain. It doesn't make me miss you any less though. I love you, and I anxiously await the day when I will see you again.
Love, #1