Blue Christmas

Today marks 4 months since Papa Bud died.

And some days are easier than others. But yesterday was particularly hard.

I miss his voice. I miss our daily phone calls. I just miss having him in my corner. The whole world could be against me but I always knew if I had him, I had everything.

Sometimes my mind forgets he is gone and twice I have even picked up my phone to call him. How crazy is that? And as soon as I realize what I am doing, my heart breaks all over again.

I cannot explain my love and devotion or bond I have with him. But it was truly the most precious relationship of my life outside of my children.

So, while I am trying really hard to move forward, my heart knows that I will be having a blue Christmas without him.

I miss you Papa.

I'll have a blue blue Christmas without you
I'll be so blue thinking about you

Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won't mean a thing if you're not here with me

I'll have a blue Christmas that's certain
And when those blue blue heartaches start hurtin'