Last Christmas Eve

Christmas 2008

We gathered at Moma Jo & Papa Bud's house following our church's candlelight service like we have for every year that I can remember.

We eat, laugh and around 8pm we let the kids open their presents.

To be exact, Mama Jo & Papa Bud have 3 children (Clyde, my sweet uncle, died in 2003).
They have 6 grandchildren. And there are 8 great grandchildren. A full house!

The presents stream from under the tree in the corner of the living room, all the way to the kitchen doorway.

My grandparents house, which used to seem so big to me as a child, seems to have shrunk over the years.

Just in size. The love kept growing as we welcomed new members into the family.

Papa sits in his chair with a smile that reaches from ear to ear.

This is his favorite part. Watching the kids open the presents, as they begin to shriek from delight as they unwrap each goodie.

I watch him closely. I know this could be our last Christmas together. I have thought this for several years. But for some reason, I truly believe it this Christmas Eve 2008.

I want to take in each moment and hold onto it forever. The night ends too soon. We say goodbye. I walk out into the cold night and I watch him sitting in his chair beside of the window. His silhouette is so beautiful to me.

This memory has to last.
Because it was his last Christmas.

And this year, 2009, I won't even be at Moma Jo's. Six of us will be missing the Christmas Eve tradition.

I feel so lost. So sad. So out of my element.

We will do our best to enjoy our own family time, and making new traditions. Plus, Christmas Eve is Ashton's birthday--my only girl.

So we have to move forward. And we will. Because Papa would not be happy to see me this sad on a day that brought him so much joy.

But its going to be hard. So very hard. I miss him and I miss my old Christmas Eve traditions.

Merry Christmas Papa.

Christmas 1995

Christmas 2005

Christmas 2007

Christmas 2005