Some days......

Some days are just really so sad for me.

Its like I blinked my eyes and ended up in someone's world. New house, new state, new everything. No Papa.

Having no Papa is by far the worst. Its the saddest feeling. To lose someone of his heart just cannot be forgotten.

I daydream of having conversations with Papa. I imagine what I would say. Then I imagine what he would say back.

I want him to know that if this little baby growing inside of me is a boy -- that I am naming him Gentry --after Papa.

And I want to hear him chuckle about how Mama Jo is wanting to name the baby Joseph already --after her.

I need to hear him say that everything is going to be ok. Because if Papa tells me that, then I will believe it.

He is the only adult/parental figure in my life to have never lied to me nor did he ever disappoint me. To have that type of parental figure gone from my life at the age of 35 is really scary. I kinda feel orphaned. Like the person who protected me the most is now gone.

Some day's I feel lost in my new life and routines.

I'm clinging ever so tightly to the hope and joy that God promises to those who are faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)