Lost

I was doing some after Christmas cleaning when I ran across a card someone had mailed my husband, John this summer after his father (PawPaw Hanson) died. It was a touching card from dear friends. It meant so much that they had mailed it.

On the front of a very beautifully illustrated scene of (ironically) a lighthouse read the words, "In the Loss of Your Father".

It made me think.

For one, when someone dies....we all say we "lost" him or her. But I know where PawPaw is. I don't believe he is "lost". I also know where Papa Bud is, he isn't "lost" either. I firmly believe they are in the hands of my God.

If anyone is "lost" during a loved ones death....it's the family members.

Even now, a year and a half from losing my rock, Papa Bud, some days I still feel so lost without him. Nothing is the same....not birthdays, holidays or even regular days. Everything I do I always think, "If only Papa could have been here", or "What would Papa say about this", or "I wonder what Papa would think....".

My entire family took two hard hits losing these wonderful men. And in a way, months later, we are all still "lost" trying to find our way around in a new life without them. Its hard. We are learning, surviving and appreciating our family even more than ever...but at times, we are lost.