Baby Bean sono and Pawpaw update

Baby Bean 3 weeks ago

Baby Bean at our 20 week 3-D sono. She would not cooperate!

I have been really bad about not posting any sono pics of Baby Bean. She is such a squirmer that it is really difficult for the sono tech to get a good pic of her.

Here are two most recent shots.

It dawned on me that we had not even shared these with most family members.

I scanned a picture and sent it to John's phone while he was in WV with Pawpaw. I did not want to think that Pawpaw would never lay eyes on her, not even a sonogram. So John showed it to Pawpaw. I felt a little better knowing he had shared something in her little life.

The last 4 days have been really hard. Pawpaw is still in the hospital. We aren't sure yet if he will go to a Hospice home or if he will be able to go home and have a Hospice nurse tend to him.

Either way, we lose a little more of him each day. John came home with the kids yesterday and is just sick with guilt for not being able to stay longer.

Its totally sent me right back into the grief I felt when Papa Bud died.
It is also an eerily similar situation.
Papa Bud was also rushed to the hospital on a Saturday morning. We thought we might be able to get Papa Bud home for Hospice care. We didn't want him to die in the hospital. HE didn't want to die in the hospital.

But Papa Bud's condition worsened so quickly that there was no time to get him home. In a way, I am glad we didn't try. He was asleep the last two days of his life. Moving him would have caused so much unnecessary pain. We decided to just let him go in peace. It was the right choice.

And now, Pawpaw Hanson is faced with the same terrible choice.

We are trying to work it out with the kids schools to leave tomorrow to go to WV and be with our family while we wait for the inevitable. Tate still has several end of year testing and Chesterfield county is so strict about absences.
But its a choice we will make not the schools.

Still, it is so hard. John is going back no matter what tomorrow.

Me and the kids want to be with him.
With my anemia, I don't even know if I could make a 6 hour drive.

So much to pray about. Please keep us all in your prayers.

Tate & PawPaw last Saturday.

Tate & PawPaw in October....the cancer has depleted him physically, but cannot touch his soul.