This Little Boy

 

First day of school August 25, 2006 We had no idea what we would be facing.

With all the excitement about my oldest son's Jonathan's upcoming High School graduation, it is easy to overlook that his isn't the only graduation coming up for us this spring.

Tate will be graduating 5th grade in June!

Tate is an awesome little fella. He reminds me so much of Jonathan. Tate cares so much about his school work. Making good grades is so important to him. He sees good grades as a reflection of his character and he always has cared deeply about that.

Just to know Tate is graduating on time with his class is a huge deal. When Tate was two years old he began having unexplained seizures.

It was the most terrifying ordeal as he would stop breathing. The seizures became really bad in 2006 and he was placed on the highest dosage of carbatrol that his weight limit could allow.

The carbatrol was able to stop the seizures. His last one came in October 2007 while we were at a Mountaineer game in West Virginia. But the carbatrol had terrible side effects. It affected his learning. Tate was unable to read on grade level. It was devastating. I had never had a child with a learning disability. Jonathan and Justin were both gifted children and grades and tests came easily for them. Tate was in Kindergarten when we realized we were going to be in a battle to keep him learning at grade level.

Tate's last seizure came a few hours after we took this picture.

It was so heartbreaking to watch Tate try his hardest and come up short for tests and reading quizzes. One day he told me, "Mom, you said if I tried my best I would do good but I tried my best and I still got a D". Because of his seizures, Tate qualified for special assistance in school. If it weren't for my sister in law telling me about this and Tate's kindergarten teacher pushing so hard for it, Tate might have fallen thru the cracks. He didn't and he continued to work very hard. He was kept in his regular class but received extra time for tests, more one on one tutoring and if he didn't understand, the teachers kept at it with him until he did. He also stayed after school several days a week. He never complained once about the hard work.

In February of 2010, he officially came off all of his seizure medications. Praise God! And it was as if his little brain had emerged from a deep sleep. He took off with reading and comprehension, things that had been his weakest points. He even made the honor roll. It was his proudest moment.

He was able to come off of all tutoring and special education classes this year too! This was even more impressive because due to John's job relocation, this is the third school Tate has been a student at.

Tate's graduation is going to be a very special occasion. Thru prayer, hard work, and many wonderful teachers, he overcame many odds. His life is one we are so proud of. I am very, very proud of Tate. His hard work, his beautiful handwriting, his love of God and the fact that he cares so much about his school work makes me a very proud mommy!

Tate's Awful Anniversary

Tate at age 2.5

Today isn't only my mom's birthday....it's also the 8th anniversary of my 10 year old son Tate's first seizure.

My mom was watching Tate on May 22, 2003 while I was at work.

She walked into her living room and found Tate on the floor unconscious, already turning blue. He was not breathing.

Since he had never had a seizure before, my mom thought he had choked. I was at work 10 minutes away when I got the phone call that 911 had been called and my mom was trying to resuscitate him. I thought he was dead. It was the darkest moment of my life being driven to my mom's house not knowing what I would find.

By the time I got to my mom house, he was breathing again. We went to the ER that day and Tate was later released that same evening. What a nightmare!

Over the next 4 years tate had over 10 seizures and was on a large amount of anti seizure meds which made him very disoriented. It was very hard for him to keep up with his peers in school. It was frightening wondering when the next seizure was going to strike. It was scary not knowing when or where the next seizure would take place. It was also scary knowing the medication he was on was possibly handicapping his learning ability.

But God is so good and has healed him. Tate hasn't had a seizure since October of 2007. He has been completely off his seizures meds since April of 2010. Now that he is off his seizure meds he has caught back up to his peers in school and reads at grade level....a feat we never knew if he would ever accomplish.

This date is always a reminder to me of how precious life is and I thank God for Tate everyday!

Tate this year

Where Was God?

Tate at my moms house, a few weeks before his seizure. This would have been the last picture of him had he left us that day.

The internet can be a wonderful thing. It can also be a bad thing, but for the most part, I find it to be an invaluable resource.

Over the last few months as I have began my blog, I have come across three blogs that have truly touched my life.

One was a man whose wife died one day AFTER the birth of their little girl.

Another was the tragic death of a baby girl. She was less than a year old and had been getting reoccurring ear infections. To the horror of her parents, a cancerous tumor was discovered and this baby died less than two months after her diagnosis. Stunning her family and community.

And just recently, I read of a family whose brave little girl, just 17 months old, had succumbed to a lung infection. This precious baby was born premature, had fought her entire little life to live and just when her parents had thought they were "safe", she died one day after going into the hospital.

When you read these blogs, you can feel the pain these people are feeling. It makes you want to shout to God, WHY!?! Why this mother....why this baby, why this premature baby who has fought so hard....

My youngest son Tate has seizures. His first occurred when he was 2 1/2. I had just returned to my part time job as a church secretary after giving birth to my daughter. I was in the office of our Worship Minister when our receptionist burst into his office and said to me, "You have to get to your moms house, There has been an emergency..."

I asked was it my grandfather--who has congenital heart disease, or my husband-he frequently travels....."No" she said. "It's Tate. He isn't breathing and they have called an ambulance to resuscitate him".

Ok, so I immediately drop my breakfast and fall against the hallway wall. Someone, still don't know who, picks me up. "Dan will drive you", the receptionist says....

Dan? Dan? You mean our minister who lost a dear, sweet baby a few years ago.... I am thinking....Tate must be dead. That's why they are having Dan take me to him. They always send Dan when a child dies.......My mind is racing. We get to the parking lot but I cannot find my car. I cannot remember where I parked it. What it looks like. My mind is blank.

Luckily due to a recent ice storm I had lost a hubcap & Dan recognizes my car. Off we go. We begin the 5 minute drive to my moms house.

My stomach hurts. I want to puke but I don't want Dan to stop the car. How do I tell John our little boy is dead....How do I pick out a coffin for my baby......This is going to kill me"....these thoughts flood my mind. I literally cannot breathe. My heart hurts so bad it is crushing me. I am in shock, I am just a shell.

We finally pull into my moms long driveway...there are EMT and fireman walking in and out of her house. There is a fireman on the porch on his knees, his hands are covering his face...I feel like I am going to pass out.

I jump out of the car while Dan is still driving it and run past the fireman.

I burst into my moms house. On the floor I see my little blonde headed boy, Tate. He has his shirt cut open and he is breathing.

THANK YOU GOD is all I can say. My heart begins to beat. The love I have for that little boy at that moment is still to this day indescribable. It overwhelmed me.

We rush him to the ER by ambulance and after a few tests we discover that Tate has had a seizure. His seizure had caused him to quit breathing. Since Tate had never had a seizure before and wasn't convulsing, my mom thought he had choked. He wasn't breathing and was turning blue when she called 911.

God blessed my world that day.

However, it took months for me to get back to normal.

The darkness that had come across my heart that morning didn't leave even after Tate left the hospital. The thought of death had left its scar. Coming so close to what I thought was losing my son was unbearable...so how do parents who TRULY lose their babies ever survive?

Why hadn't this powerful God blessed the bloggers I mentioned above? Who are we to question God?

God has used these precious lives in a way that the families would have never believed.

The Liz Logelin foundation gives money to families who have lost a spouse or partner.

Little Cora Paige's family has collected donations in hopes of building playgrounds across the country for less fortunate children.

And tiny Maddie Sporh's mom continues to champion awareness and funding for the March of Dimes. Maddie's walk a few weeks ago raised over 30,000.

When bad things happen, people tend to say, WHERE WAS GOD? WHY DIDN'T GOD COME THROUGH?

I understand that...but thank God there is a God. For death, illness, pain...it's a part of life. Even if there was no God these things still would happen. Aren't you thankful that when bad things happen there is a Father waiting for you to dry your tears, provide comfort and even turn something so horrible into a blessing?

Its easy for me to talk about Tate. He survived. He has had several seizures since that day back in 2003, but God has always been there.

God will also use Tate. God is good.

".....and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." ~REV 21:4