The BEST Birthday Present EVER

Justin with Papa Bud before he took a turn for the worse.

Today is my 35th birthday.

It's my first birthday without Papa Bud.

He hasn't been strong enough to visit me at my mom's house where my birthday's are held in many years.

After my party, before I would head home, I would always cut Papa a piece of my birthday cake.

Every year it comes from Dewey's. I would run in his house, grab a spoon and pop a bite into his mouth. He had diabetes so it had to be a little bite. I loved how he would smile at me. 'Thats good" he would say!

Last Monday he gave me the BEST birthday present ever.

After the day he had on Saturday, the doctors cranked up his pain meds. On Sunday when I visited him, he never woke up.

My mom said he may not ever wake up because the pain was so intense that even if he did wake up he would be so miserable and still may have so much confusion from the infection caused by his failing kidneys that he probably wouldn't recognize us.

That HURT. Driving home Sunday night me and Justin (middle son) were sobbing. We may not ever get to tell him we loved him again and that was tragic.

Monday morning my cell phone rings at 6:30AM. I am not a morning person at all. But I knew it had to be terrible news about Papa.

"Hello"--I barely got out the words........"Trinity, this is Beverly--Papa wants to speak to you" she said.

I thought Beverly must have been half crazy sitting in that hospital all night and now she is hearing things too.....but before I could fuss at her I heard three magic words, from my Papa Bud.

"I LOVE YOU"---he could barely get them out but it was him and he was talking to me.

"I miss you" I said back to him----it was what I instinctively said---because I had been missing him. Missing his stories, missing his phone calls, missing his very presence in my life.

Beverly had the phone on speaker for him, she told Papa, "We got old #1 out of the bed before 7am Daddy--what do you think of that?" she said. Papa even chuckled!

Then Beverly told me, "Get here quick---we don't know how long he will be up".

We raced to room 8156. When I got there, my entire family was there with him. I rushed to his bedside. His blue eyes looked up at me. They were bloodshot and watery.

"#1 is here Daddy", Beverly told him.

"I love you Papa Bud" I said. All the great grandbabies were gathered around him. There wasn't an inch to give in that room. His entire family was around him. Even his dear friend, our Pastor was in the room.

My grandmother, Betty Jo hugged him. It was then that I witnessed the most precious moment in my life.

He told her, "I will always love you". He tried to sing it. It was from the song by Jonny Cash You are My Sunshine. They then shared a tender kiss. What a precious moment!
It was their song!

I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:

Within an hour, his pain returned. He was once again heavily sedated. Never would he open those precious blue eyes and look at me again. In two days, he would be dead.

What a blessing it was to see him be able to tell us all that he loved us. That he could have all the babies climb up on him and give him kisses. He could tell we were all there and we were not going to leave him.

The last week has been hard, but the days since we buried him are even harder. NOT worrying about him is worse than worrying about him. It's what we did. Now that all is said and done--it's like NOW WHAT.

I was so blessed. His death isn't tragic---Grandparents are supposed to die before their babies----I get that part. But his death has been traumatic. He was like a father to me, my soul mate if there is such a thing for family members that you are so close to they could be your family soul mate.

I've lost but heaven has gained.

I firmly believe that we will be reunited one day.